Night at the Museum

April 15, 2013


Just returned to Chongqing from a couple of days in Nanchong, a city about three hours away.  Kind of like Perth to Chongqing's Dundee.  After the gridlock of Chongqing it was surreal to be on a motorway which was virtually deserted in both directions, save for the occassional pedestrian or military truck.  I was quite glad of this as the driver conducted conversations on two different phones throughout the journey.  It was nice to be travelling through a rural area, I was in need of a terraced hillside fix.  I was also able to experience Chinese motorway services; no M&S, but still better than Bolton West, where I once saw a CSI finger printing the back of an ATM.

When we reached the city, we changed cars and drove to a deserted building site where a couple of other cars were waiting.  A little alarmed, I was deciding whether it would be preferable to be dogging or a deal of some sort (think the last series of 'Spiral') but it turned out to be other people heading to our destination.  Up a long track (I was now expecting to arrive at an 'Eyes Wide Shut' style country mansion gathering) we reached the museum opening we were heading for.  It was an enormous banquet, like a bacchanalian feast, with musicians, performers, recitations of Mao's poetry, and a squadron of costumed waitresses constantly refilling everyone's glasses.  When the party ended the clear up began with choreographed precision, as each staff member had an almost caste like function - one man collects all the chop sticks, another empties bowls, a young boy gathers empty rice wine bottles.  I had been chatting with a young man who spoke excellent English who had discovered we were to be staying in the same hotel.  He was quite direct in his intentions, and I was anxious not to cause him to lose face by declining his overtures, so I coyly explained that although flattered, being a fan of musical theatre I could not be persuaded.  Something was definitely lost in translation as the following day he emailed me to ask if I would like to see some Chinese opera.  If I get dinner I might be tempted.

The hotel I was put up in was by far the most luxurious I've stayed in - had I known I would have saved up my toilet trips to best take advantage of the fabulous en suite facilities.  Guests were constantly offered plates of fruit, but I wisely avoided anything grape-like after my previous ordeal.  Although breakfast was fantastically varied (sushi, soups, eggs cooked in soy sauce, dumplings, fruits, yoghurt, pastries, cabbage, cereals, pickles) the highlight for me was the opportunity to watch the film 'Camel Spiders', a cinematic triumph that has made my entire trip worthwhile!

 

The Dangers of Dimly Lit Grapes

April 10, 2013


I must begin by describing a harrowing incident which took place on Sunday evening.  Whilst talking with a local sculptor and his wife in a poorly lit area of a gallery, I nonchalantly popped what I assumed was a grape into my mouth.  Imagine my horror when it revealed itself to be an inappropriately shaped cherry tomato.  Unable to spit it out, I had to bravely power through it, before beginning a frantic search for some 'Great Wall' Merlot to take the taste away.

In another gastronomic adven...

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Cash Bonfires and Bird Flu

April 8, 2013


This week has been the annual tomb sweeping day, a national holiday when people return to their home towns and families to tend the graves of their forebears, place offerings and burn Hell Money.  It is apparently unlucky and offensive to gift Hell Money to a living person, so that sorts out Chinese souvenirs for my enemies.  I chose to mark the day by remembering the time my Grandma nearly came to blows with father over the ownership of a Welsh tapestry glasses case (in which he keeps his mo...

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Little Red Menu

April 3, 2013

The last few days has seen the belated arrival of my traditional tonsilitis style illness whenever I travel by plane.  As I think I'm the only (non rodent) person in the studios overnight, the associated snoring/teeth grinding/night sweats don't seem to be affecting any others, and I obviously travel with a fully stocked pharmacy.  Whilst travelling about I was shown my local earthquake shelter, which was something I hadn't thought to worry about; I'm not sure how much warning earthquakes tra...
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Highway code Chongqing version

March 29, 2013


Was awoken during the night by what sounded like my living/working quarters being swept.  Thoughtful though this would have been for an intruder (although I'm a little perturbed by having a burglar criticize my housekeeping standards) I was relieved to discover it was merely some rats.  I was also pleased to learn that the many hundreds of tanks which were driving up the street yesterday were part of a regular training exercise on the Yangtze as opposed to a major deployment, or a parade of m...

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On tour with Marcel Marceau

March 25, 2013

 
I have been aclimatising over the last few days and have thus far managed to avoid accidentally causing any diplomatic incidents, although a tank did drive down the street this evening but I'm sure it's nothing to do with me.  The city is vast, unending concrete towers seemingly sprouting from any available ground.  During my wanderings I've encountered the sock, vegetable and hardware night market, and it seems that I'm resident in the art materials and flip flop district of the city, which...

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20 hours on Hoth

March 21, 2013


The epic journey has been sucessfully navigated.  There was an initial delay at Manchester airport when the elderly lady in front of me at the frisking station was asked to remove fluids from her colostomy bag due to the clear plastic/100ml regulations (she was directed to the facilities).  I felt this was a bit extreme but I suppose they must be alive to all possible plots.   
My belief in the enlightened nature of Scandinavians was deeply shaken by the in-flight snack involving mayo...

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Chocks away!

March 18, 2013
All packed, the Angels are ready to fly.  Fly, my pretties, fly...

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